Remember TXSD Judge Lynn Hughes? I wrote about his amazing bench-slapping of Prenda’s sloppy minion Douglas McIntyre two years ago:

The court is not an ex-girlfriend’s Facebook wall. All documents must be filed with the court, captioned, signed by counsel, and with service certified.

Later I wrote about this judge calling out Prenda’s abuse, ordering the troll to destroy putative defendants’ personal data they already got from the ISPs:

First Time has abused its opportunity for discovery. It has insufficiently cooperated with the court and now wants to abandon its claims without explanation.

It may not use the information it has received; it must destroy it.

So, you get the idea: if you lie about your real motives, if you pretend to be interested in bringing the case all the way to the jury trial (while inventing excuses for delays and extensions), if you are generally a dirtbag, you really don’t want your case to be assigned to Lynn Hughes.

Yet the behaviors I just described are the exact modus operandi of copyright trolls! Thus, I bet that Keith Vogt, a Chicago-based sleazeball, who filed a champertous lawsuit Dallas Buyers Club v. Does 1-25 (TXSD 14-cv-02218) on 8/2/2014, is not happy to find out that he must face Hughes soon.

The judge doesn’t mince words: right after the case was assigned to him, he issued a short order outlining what our poor troll should expect. The service must be accomplished in 60 days, and the judge expects all the parties to appear for an initial pretrial conference on 11/3/2014 (I hope, Hughes will require personal attendance). Yet the most hilarious line is #8:

Failure to comply with this order may result in sanctions, including dismissal, and prolonged tirades by the court,

which I really hope will happen if Vogt is stupid enough not to run away at once.

 

Crystal Bay Corporation, seriously?

Vogt and his German employers don’t have any sense of reality. In his declaration (which is a sole basis of ex parte discovery), plaintiff’s purported expert, Guardaley’s Daniel Macek, claims that he works for Crystal Bay Corporation. In an ongoing troll disaster Elf-Man v Lamberson (WAED 13-cv-00395), defense attorney Chris Lynch thoroughly proved that this “corporation” is a pure fraud, a shelf entity created by a disbarred attorney in South Dakota. This fake corporation also “employs” Guardaley’s own incarnation of Alan Cooper’s ghost — Darren M. Griffin, a mysterious dude, whose existence is reasonably questioned.

The Troll Center knows about these developments, yet nonetheless an army of US parasitic lawyers continue impudently defrauding US courts. It won’t end well for them. I hope that one of the Does in the instant case will explain to Judge Hughes what is really going on in his courtroom.

Updates

8/8/2014

Hilarity continues. What can I say? Certain Vogt’s manly bits are undoubtedly busted:

Order to Amend

By 2:00 p.m. on August 8, 2014, Dallas Buyers Club, LLC, must amend its complaint to specify, as nearly as it can, by technical description or otherwise, the people whom it has sued. It must remove all mention of “Does” or similar fictions.

 

So, our poor troll with a little soul did exactly what the judge told him not to do: replaced one fiction (“Doe”) with another (bizarre “Internet User and Subscriber to IP address XX.XX.XX.XX located in Houston, Texas”). The bust is scheduled to August 12: I hope that “prolonged tirades” will be properly transcribed. Vogt will appear by telephone [update: I misunderstood it — Vogd was ordered to appear in person], and a local attorney named Daniel R. Kirshbaum will enjoy his own spanking in person.

8/11/2014

Oh my… Local counsel cries he doesn’t know anything, and Vogt apparently soiled his pants: filed a second motion to reset hearing at the last moment (18:01). I’m sure Judge Hughes will be happy:

Plaintiff respectfully requests that the hearing set for August 12, 2014, at 3:30 p.m. be reset to anytime convenient to the Court between August 20, 2014 and August 22, 2014. Plaintiff’s counsel mistakenly believed that Mr. Keith A. Vogt would have been able to attend the hearing by telephone so as to full comply with Rule 4 of Judge Hughes’s Procedures.

The additional time will allow Mr. Vogt to make the necessary arrangements to attend the hearing. Plaintiff’s other counsel, Mr. Kirshbaum is acting solely as local counsel. Mr. Kirshbaum is not as knowledgeable as Mr. Vogt about the substantive issues in this matter, which the court may wish to address.

…and the motion was denied at 20:27.

Followup

• Copyright troll Keith Vogt cuts and runs, Judge Hughes essentially kills Bittorent lawsuits in his district