- Judge Baylson wants to test copyright trolls’ evidence in a bellwether trial.
- Bellwether trial update: trolls are trying to sabotage the process.
After defense attorneys called out copyright troll Chris Fiore’s lies and informed Judge Baylson, the judge ruled (emphasis is mine):
…within ten (10) days, if service of the Complaint on the Defendants is not effectuated, Plaintiff shall file a “memorandum advising the Court as to why service has not been made on any Defendant, and how Plaintiff intends to proceed with regard to that Defendant.” Plaintiff has filed no such memorandum. Moreover, contrary to Plaintiff’s representation that it forwarded this Court’s October 3, 2012 Order to each Defendants’ Internet Service Provider (“ISP”), counsel for one Defendant has advised the Court that, based on a conversation with the Legal Response Center at Comcast Cable, which is the ISP for most of the defendants, Plaintiff never informed Comcast Cable of the Court’s Order.
In light of these recent developments, it is hereby ORDERED as follows:
1. Plaintiff shall promptly file a memorandum and certificate under oath subject to the penalties of perjury advising the Court, in detail, with names and dates, what contact Plaintiff has had with any ISP concerning the subject matter of this Court’s October 3, 2012 Order, and any follow-up.
Not being a lawyer, I initially described the order as “balanced,” but shortly I received a tweet from an attorney:
After this useful lesson in Legalese, I realized that things were getting much more interesting than I thought. As Raul put it,
This places Fiore in a double bind: if he tells the truth under oath, he may get hit with sanctions, yet, if he files a falsehood under oath to avoid sanctions, he can face perjury problems.
I did not have a slightest idea how Fiore would squeeze himself from between a rock and a hard place, and waited for his sworn memo impatiently. Fortunately, it did not take long, and today we have an entertaining read, although not written by our little troll: his master Keith Lipscomb came to rescue and lent the helping
lissome furry body hand to his disciple.
I don’t want to analyze this masterpiece: read it, and I hope you’ll laugh uncontrollably as I did. While discussing this timeless piece in the comments, don’t be hard on Lipscomb: he did his best to entertain all of us. Also, according to Homer Simpson, this type of behavior should be encouraged:
Enjoy the memo:
The open question of the day: Will Judge Baylson be as amused as we are?
First comments were hilarious, not unexpected. Thank you, guys.
I hope this judge has a sturdy bullshit detector, because I ran this document through mine and it EXPLODED! It’s a damn shame he couldn’t work a dog into the story somehow. Then maybe he could have brought the dog with him to court and said something like “Toby didn’t mean it your honor–didya little guy?” and then rubbed his head.
I was wondering what you were getting at in your comments and I figured it would just be more of the usual bread and butter Troll BS, maybe some condescension and insults directed at the court, judge, defendants and their attorneys, but this load of crap is well beyond unexpected. [...]
I was waiting for the aliens and their ray guns to be the cause of the burst pipe. I bet they were under orders from some cigarette smoking man. Seriously? How lame can you get. There was this legal assistant didn’t get the info to the paralegal who then couldn’t get the info to Fiore who, of course, can’t possibly be expected to keep track of a case he is litigating—and all because we had a pipe burst in our office. Are you kidding me? I think I lost 50 IQ points just reading that memo.
Update: bullshitting or outright lies?
A commenter who I know for a long time and have no slightest reason to question her credibility, reports:
Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,
I read Mr. Lipscomb’s “Memorandum Advising The Court As To What Contact Plaintiff Has Had With The ISP Concerning The Subject Matter Of The Court’s October 03, 2012 Order And Any Followup” document, and offer here the following:
The name of the building where Mr. Lipscomb’s office is located is called One Biscayne Tower. The phone number of the building is 305-374-5678. The name of the receptionist (today) who answers the phone for the entire building is “Vanessa.” I spoke to her two minutes ago.
I told her that it was my understanding that the building had a flood in the penthouse. She became alarmed, thinking I was talking about a flood occurring today, and she was initially confused. She then said no one had reported a flood to her today, but then offered information about a penthouse flood that occurred “a long time ago.” I asked her how long ago. She said the flood occurred in June of 2012. I asked her if there had been another flood in October, she said no, just in June.
I then asked her if everything was “back to normal now.” She said the flood damage was localized and repaired within less than a week.
Accordingly, for the statements made in Case No. 12-02084, whereby Mr. Lipscomb claims to make it sound as though he had been swimming in water in his penthouse suite in October of 2012, no such swimming occurred because the water and the ensuing damage had long since been corrected.
It is beyond my comprehension how arrogant the crooks are to think that no one is watching and performing elementary fact checking.
10/24 late afternoon update:
we saw the damage. It actually was fairly extensive & they were working from home, but that’s what Worldox is for.
That does not make Lipscomb’s excuses less lame though.
Bellwether trial update: Telephone conference, new filings. New updates will be posted there.