Fight Copyright Trolls

Today’s surprising and Kafkaesque default judgment, as well as John Steele, who confused this blog and Twitter with a public restroom, hardly kept my mood elevated. Fortunately at the end of the day I was pointed to a hilarious document that resulted from Marvin Cable’s failure to show up on a hearing of his own motion. The opposition to plaintiff’s renewed motion for early discovery and motion for sanctions was written by Dan Booth (is there a synonym to “write” that is used exclusively do describe a poem creation?) Below I embedded the document for your enjoyment.

Poor troll Marvin Cable… Recently he embarrassed himself by comparing his questionable conduct to John Adams’s actions:

Plaintiff is reminded of John Adams’ defense of the six soldiers in the Boston Massacre, in December 1770, where he took the case despite the reputational blow to his career as a lawyer, and said, “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.” Here, the facts are that Doe defendants violated Plaintiff’s rights, and federal rules allow for permissive joinder of these defendants. There are no facts, there are only speculations, that the Plaintiff is ill-ly using the Court system to fill its belly and that this Court cannot find ways to adjudicate each defendant in one civil action. As this Court respectfully noted in it’s denial of defendant’s request to recuse a judge in U.S. v. Bulger, it is irresponsible for this Court to comply to requests where parties “have chosen to make untrue accusations in the possible hope of subverting that process, or at the very least, forcing a delay of a trial by injecting a diversionary issue into the proceedings.” 1:99-cr-10371-RGS (D. Mass) at 9. Plaintiff feels this Court would agree that Defendants’ requests to sever based on tall tales or misconduct should not be complied with.

I suspect that another Adams, namely Samuel, was the inspiration of such passion.

I’m sure John Adams is turning in his grave, hearing that his noble actions are being compared to using underage pornography to extort quick cash from people who are defendants during the day but turn ISP subscribers at night. (As a weretroll himself, Marvin seemingly does not have any problem with this transformation.)

To commemorate this flabbergasting arrogance, Marvin Cable’s nickname will be “President Adams” from now on.

The brave defender of the “work of art” Dirty Little Schoolgirl Stories #4 proudly regards himself as a role model:

Another Court in this District noted there has been no report of Plaintiff’s Counsel (who is the same Counsel here in a similar case) engaging in any unethical or coercive tactics, using the content-matter to persuade people into settling. It has even been stated on the record in another Court in a similar case during a hearing (transcript for that hearing is currently being worked on by stenographer) that this Counsel (who is the same Counsel here), as opposed to many others around the country, is one of the most ethical and best to deal with. Plaintiff can nearly guarantee that every defense counsel that has dealt with plaintiffs’ counsel would agree, even those who submit fierce motions against plaintiff.

Well, Dan Booth agrees… kind of:

Note how Marvin “President Adams” Cable explained the reason why he missed the hearing: he did not check his email on a daily basis! Since courts went all electronic, dogs are dying from hunger: no more homework judge’s orders to eat. This lame excuse resulted in short but entertaining order:

Ch. Magistrate Judge Leo T. Sorokin: ELECTRONIC ORDER entered. ORDER Setting Hearing on Plaintiff’s Renewed Motion for Early Discovery (Docket # 43). Plaintiff’s counsel failed to appear for the hearing scheduled for October 5, 2012. The Court has re-scheduled this hearing for October 12, 2012 at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 24. Plaintiff’s Counsel is directed to check his email notices from the Court on a daily rather than weekly basis. (Chernetsky, James) (Entered: 10/09/2012)

Update

10/10/2012
Things go fast and downhill for Marvin “President Adams” Cable. The very same case, where he compared himself to Adams, just crumbled:

Docket Text: Judge Richard G. Stearns: ELECTRONIC ORDER severing all defendants but Doe 1 entered. Beneath the cloud of rhetoric, New Sensations, Inc., raises nothing in its Response beyond conjecture to suggest that these defendants are appropriately joined together. The court accepts counsel’s representation of good faith in attempting to litigate these cases. However, under the civil rules, in fairness to all involved, including the court, these cases should be litigated and defended in separate causes of action. Therefore, the court will dismiss without prejudice defendants 2 – 201. (Zierk, Marsha)

An anonymous commenter, who brought the news, also quoted John Adams, and this wisdom can serve as an epigraph to this site:

It is more important that innocence be protected than it is that guilt be punished, for guilt and crimes are so frequent in this world that they cannot all be punished. But if innocence itself is brought to the bar and condemned, perhaps to die, then the citizen will say, “whether I do good or whether I do evil is immaterial, for innocence itself is no protection,” and if such an idea as that were to take hold in the mind of the citizen that would be the end of security whatsoever.

― John Adams

10/7/2012
Judge Leo Sorokin is tired of troll Marvin Cable’s lies, denies ex-parte discovery.